Happy Anniversary, Dear...Here's Your DVD.

When I began dating a highly-educated professional, I figured that this relationship would be slightly different from my experiences of dating guys I met in a bar. (And as sad as those experiences were for me, I'm ultimately better for them. Besides, if it helps my friends to find reasons to laugh at me...well, they just found extra reasons to with this!)

Back to topic, my other half and I have made it to a full year in our relationship, as of March 1. And we've had one roller coaster ride of a year. Between meeting online, dating long-distance, and his ability to endure my family--ever--we're doing quite well.

Several friends were concerned how Mr. Man and I might spend our 366th day together. Most were shocked, if not dismayed, that my response was not entirely enthusiastic. I usually do get excited, but our relationship has "timing issues". Who knew that dating a professional had its drawbacks? All that money he makes means people expect him to be working until they're done--not until he is. This one fact makes planning things like dates kind of problematic.

Well, that and his somewhat saddending inability when it comes to romance. My background is literature. I'm expected to "Get" romance. He's in the medical field. He is NOT expected to get romance. He is, however, expected to make a hell of a lot more money than me in the long run.

So, while in my head we were enjoying a weekend of blissful moments with great food, friends, drinks, light socialization, and heavy "alone time", that wasn't quite reality. Reality was more like me waiting on my couch until he arrived at 10:15 p.m., takeout in hand. We went to bed with barely a "welcome home" kiss. (Don't feel bad...I love him. And with a 4-hour commute between us, it's understandable. I'll get more used to the late nights when I can lounge at home all day while he earns the living...or whatever.)

***I should interject. He and I have a history of buying DVDs for one another randomly. For our 6-month celebration, we both ended up with a copy of Dexter Season 2. It came out the same week. Onward.***

When I asked if he wanted his present the next day, he informed me that he wanted to wait. (Allow me a brief translation: "No exchanging gifts until I actually get your gift.") So, instead, we spent Saturday at bookstores and lunch. In the early afternoon, we came home and watched DVDs before going to dinner. After dinner, it was a rough night. We stayed up until 11:30 so we could see the "Weekend Update" segment on Saturday Night Live. (We're rebels.)

So we waited until Sunday, our actual anniversary, to exchange gifts. Mine came with a pre-emptive, "Don't be mad." (Just for anyone out there--gay, straight, bi, bi-curious, married, or single--DON'T START YOUR ANNIVERSARY GIFT WITH THIS PHRASE. It tends to yield very negative results.)

"Okay. I won't be. I can already tell you have wine in here." (Yes, I'm a lush. And there's little a good bottle of wine won't resolve with me, or at least get me in a better mood!)

"It's just that I looked all over to find what I wanted to give you and I couldn't find it."

Somewhat jokingly on my part, "Well, if you keep looking at Barnes & Noble for a ring, you're gonna be disappointed!" (I'm a man with a goal...)

"Ummm....no. I mean, I just couldn't find the DVD I was going to get you."

No, this is not the point when I get some random fetish film...

Although...

No.

What did he find? The Dinosaurs seasons 3 & 4 combo pack. Funny, yes. Romantic? No. Certainly glad he paid attention when I mentioned that my father believes he might have gone to school with the show's creator, but still not an ideal gift for your anniversary.

I think for his birthday he will be getting romance lessons.