Yeah, it's been awhile

Forgive me. Life has gotten the better of me. I'm finding it harder and harder to chronicle the gay events in our city. In fact, I feel it was a bit egotistical for me to try. While I'm not abandoning this site altogether, I feel it's best I go back to writing what I write best, general reflections on life and other ephemera.

For now look for me on OpenSalon: http://open.salon.com/blog/disgruntledwhistlepig. I'm going to try and at least post weekly there.

Thanks for reading!

Les

Missouri Wine Country Restaurant Review: Sybil's

Another of those recommendations from my bosses that I had to try. After growing up thinking McDonald's was a special treat, and that any restaurant that seated you before taking your order was "fancy", my tastes have evolved.

About a half mile north of I-44 in the little town of St. James is a HUGE house with a great menu. Sybil's looks like something taken straight out of a plantation picture, but is one of the best dining experiences I've had in mid-Missouri.

My boyfriend and I had decided to go for a drive and to visit a friend of mine who will be teaching in mid-MO this year. (Really, this is just a great excuse for me to go get wine. There's the moral of the story!) I had heard of Sybil's from my bosses, as mentioned, but figured I'd not likely have a reason to go anytime soon.

We drove to the restaurant, and had no problems finding parking, as the lot is completely paved. Tied to what I can only imagine is a decorator's store, Sybil's provides a very elegant outlet for those seeking both good food and a high-class environment.

Walking in to the main doors, I cringed only slightly inside, thinking that my ideas had finally gotten the better of me. Everything screamed "too good for you." Especially since most of the items on display came complete with a price tag. If you found something you wanted to learn more about purchasing, you simply ask the waitress, I guess.

The friend teaching in the area had heard of, but never been to, the restaurant. And all she heard was "kind of expensive." But she had apparently not heard the full story. While the menu was likely on the pricy side for dinner, lunch was incredibly reasonable. It was actually pretty comparable to the prices of many chain sit-down places for the lunch menu. And surprisingly, several of the patrons were in shorts and sandals through the lunch period. We all felt at home in jeans and polo shirts.

My friend took advantage of a new lunch item they were trying out, a steak quesadilla. My boy went for the french dip sandwich with buffalo fries, and I decided to have the pulled pork barbecue sandwich with steak fries.

The lunch was great, and the planning was smart; the dessert menu was printed seperately, and brought to the table after we had completed our dishes. We tried the tiramisu and the peanut butter pie. Both were decadent and flavorful.

If you are in the St. James area, you will undoubtedly enjoy Sybil's. Between the food, the service, and the ambiance, you'll feel like you're being spoiled--even if you aren't paying through the nose for it. I would recommend making a reservation for any typical dinner or lunch time.

Restaurant Review: TONG'S

Hearing about this place a few weeks ago from my bosses, I finally was given the chance to try Tong's this weekend with my beau. We both enjoy Thai food, and so it made sense to try a new place out.

Honestly, if you weren't aware that the restaurant existed, you might not even know to look for it. But if you're reading this, you are in for a treat. This is a gem of a restaurant, hidden away in a shopping center in the southern part of the city off Campbell. If you are familiar with the South Campbell Starbucks, head 4 blocks north to find Tong's. They are on the same side of the road.

We arrived about 7 p.m. on a Saturday evening to a nearly-empty parking lot. Walking in, we were seated immediately at a quiet table for two near the back.

This restaurant is extremely accessible. We were seated in an upper section, and ramps were our only way to get there. If you tend to be clumsy (like I occasionally can be), you don't have to worry about stairs...or rumpled carpeting. Just your own feet!

While I can't say much for the waitress's knowledge of the menu itself, I will say that it turned out to be a really great dining experience. To whet our appetites, the man and I enjoyed Chinese beer, reasonably priced bottles for foreign lager, as we thumbed through the menu.

Clearly marked in the menu was something I was glad to see; the chef had gone to great lengths to explain his style of cooking, and his willingness to help those who are attempting to dine healthy. This had been one of the reasons I was interested in trying Tong's originally. My bosses are both on Weight Watchers, and spoke highly of the staff's willingness to alter the dishes to taste, as well as to fit one's dietary needs. (The example my boss offered was that she didn't want beef, but the rest of the dish sounded great; the waitress offered to change out the beef for shrimp.)

My boyfriend went with a basic beef, noodle, and broccoli dish. I decided to be the seafood eater this time, opting for Grouper with a Basil Garlic Sauce. My dish was served with seasonable steamed vegetables, as well as steamed rice. The fish was breaded, but it was light. Although I asked for mild, it was a little more spicy than I regularly desire. Still, it was delicious...and overly filling. I had to request a box.

While our particular waitress wasn't knowledgeable about specific menu items, I was impressed with the staff overall. Our plates were brought to us when ready by another member of the serving staff. Our water glasses were kept appropriately full (one of my pet peeves, especially when eating spicy foods). We were even asked if we wanted a second beer before our glasses reached the halfway mark.

The prices were reasonable, overall. For two to dine at dinner, we spent what I would consider a reasonable "date" price (i.e., under $50, including tip). Keeping in mind that I had seafood, and we each had beer, that was really more than reasonable. There were, however, much less expensive options available.

Please support this local restaurant! I want to be sure that we keep good, reasonably priced, and healthy options available to us in Springfield. I would feel comfortable bringing friends here, but be sure you create your own dish if you plan to bring children (yes, there's a menu option for that!), since even "mild" can be more than a little spicy.

The joy of cooking...well, for me, anyway.

I haven't posted in a while on GLITQC, mostly because anything I'm normally interested in speaking about doesn't really fit with things here. But you can catch more of my antics on my other blog, wildelife: http://wildefanblog.blogspot.com/, you know, in case you're interested. You're probably not. But that's okay.

Anyway, I'm housesitting for a lovely gay couple this week. I like them. They're like my "fairy god-gays". (Is that redundant?)

They have respectively been in my world since my early college years. And as I got further along in my education, they became more involved. One was even my advisor in grad school.

There are four reasons I like housesitting for them.

1) They have a great shower...two of them, in fact. And I mean...FANTABULOUSLY FANTASTIC! They are the full massage shower heads...and they have great water pressure. All I'm saying is it's not a bad thing that I can't afford a regular massage--this'll do.

2) They're good guys. I like them. Simple as that.

3) They don't hide their porn collection. Seriously. The first time I housesat for them, it took less than 5 minutes to find it. Because it was in the DVD rack of the enterntainment center. I thought their tastes were a little odd--it was all super-cheesy, but one finally explained it to me that they used to host "brunch & porn" parties.

4) Their kitchen is serious. HUGE convection oven. 6-burner range, complete with grill plates. And for the last two evenings, a wonderful reason to cook.

I'm not a professional chef by any stretch of the imagination, but most of my friends who have been treated to my cooking have been glad to be near my culinary skills. I've been able to prepare enough meals for my parents and grandmother (a former head cook for a school district) that they willingly ask me to prepare the meals when I visit.

The last two evenings have been filled with fish: baked Chilean Sea Bass (last night) and baked Grouper (tonight). I'm trying the healthy thing. Except for pasta. And bread. I have no qualms with gorging myself on that fantastic stuff!

All of the interest in seafood is rooted in one great idea...I want to thoroughly impress my man this weekend. He's a seafood fan, especially white fish. I am getting there, certainly. Not perfection, but closer to it than a year ago.

Les has asked me to write a couple of blogs on food before--and I'll certainly try to get some new ones in before long. Both Branson and Queen City places. But I figured for tonight, it'd be good to share a little bit of cooking.

Happy dining, all!

The critter count

So for weeks now the wife and I have been chuckling about all the wild life she sees on her way to work in the wee hours of the morning. We finally decided that if someone could throw up a site where people posted their indiscretions via text than there was nothing wrong with posting the nightly critter count.

You'll also note a new links addition at right. I added in some of the fun places on the web I visit routinely. Hillbillie Gourmet is my creation and it's a work in progress. I don't have much posted there but I'm working on it. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to send me an email.

Chortle ...

see more Funny Graphs

Dragtastic

“We’re three numbers into the drag show and the Lady GaGa songs are all gone!” – Post on Texts from Last Night

Grab your disco stick kids (oh YES I DID go there) and come out to the Edge this Saturday night. Marnie Rae Holiday is kicking off her new show cast. Each month the fabulous Marnie Rae will appear with Jennifer Holiday, Doc Holiday, Portia D’Lish and Gunner Holiday.

That’s a whole lotta Holiday comin’ atcha.

I’m certain the famous Marnie Rae Hotbox will make an appearance, and I’ve heard rumblings that Doc Holiday may pull something out of his kit bag.

Show starts at 10:45 pm. My advice: Get there by 9:45,grab a beer (bottled) and kick back and watch a really great show. The Wife and I will likely be in the house, so drop on by and say hello.

And when it's all over, just dance.

Book club first meeting

I’ve gotten an overwhelming number of emails about the book club and I’m very excited so many of you are interested! I’ve started a Yahoo Group to keep everyone informed, so if you want to take part in our activities please join. The group’s homepage is here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/biblianonspringfieldmo/


Our first meeting will be August 29 at 1 p.m. at Big Momma’s located at 217 E Commercial Street. Our first book will be Louise Rafkin’s Other People’s Dirt. Here’s the Kirkus Review on the book:

Into this life a chance for liberating creativity fell, when Rafkin narrowly escaped a straight-on march into the literary world of academia and headed into the trenches of ``other people's dirt.'' This book documents her experiences as seen from the underbelly of day-to-day life through anecdote and wry observation: dust balls and food stains, what laundry reveals and conceals, the nature of the need to clean, and the strange idiosyncrasies of those who will pay others to put order in their disorderly lives. Brief chapters cover stints in the homes of hoarders, the simply overworked, the impersonal nit-pickers, perverts, and even a suicide. In a final chapter, Rafkin travels to Japan to live with the Ittoen community, a group of homeless individuals committed to cleaning up the immediate world. Her thoughts on the need for order hint at the author's underlying belief: She would like to share the Ittoen ``nonattachment to worldly goods.'' But her comments on Japan are banal, and her search for any philosophy in what a house cleaner knows remains lifeless as long as she poses questions such as, If a forest is swept and no one sees it, was it ever really swept? . . . would I ever stop trying to achieve Home-Ec Student of the Year?'' Rafkin's breezy matter-of-factness only barely obscures a lot of cynical ranting about people, places, and things. Only at the very end does she confide her personal take on what her meanderings have meant in a final homeward gaze, the long-lost San Francisco girl at last getting real: ``It was time to clean house.'' More adventure than memoir, this book is odd and not all that entertaining. (Author tour) -- Copyright ©1998, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

The book can be purchased at Amazon used for a little as .01 plus shipping: http://www.amazon.com/Other-Peoples-Dirt-Housecleaners-Adventures/dp/0452280818/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1248465230&sr=1-1

Book Club!

I’ve gotten together a group of five women who are interested in forming a book club. We will meet monthly on Saturday afternoon at a local coffee house and discuss a book chosen by the group’s members. The books will range from mainstream to LGBTQ themed depending on the group’s preferences. We're already mulling over what our first book will be!

We'd like to have a few more members, so if you're interested please shoot me an email at lesbianinthequeencity@gmail.com.

Thanks!
Les

ENDA is not a violation of the fundies First Amendment rights

The Wife heard an interesting tid bit on the radio that Focus on the Family is crying that ENDA (Employee Non-Discrimination Act) violates their First Amendment Rights to freedom of religion. They've been griping about this for some time actually. Apparently Focus on the Family is too busy gay bashing to really understand what, precisely, the First Amendment protects. The short answer is it doesn't completely protect you in the workplace. The far right attempted to use this same tired argument against racial discrimination and sexual harassment ... it didn't work.

I spoke to the Paternal Unit, nationally recognized free speech expert Paul McMasters, who didn't use all the profanity I wanted to but basically agreed that Focus on the Family is way off base. He pointed me in the direction of numerous articles showing how a blogger's free speech OUTSIDE the workplace could be controlled by his or her employer. Read, you can get fired for what you say publicly if your boss doesn't like it.

Now, let's do a little check up here: the government can make no law governing your speech or religious practices. It's a bit more complicated when it comes to your boss. Especially if your boss isn't the Federal Government.

Dear Old Dad pointed me to this article, by lawyer David Hudson, on religious freedom in the workplace. The important take aways from the article are as follows:

*Public employees have the protections of the First Amendment and Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the major federal anti-discrimination law that covers virtually all public and private employers with 15 or more full-time employees. Employees in the executive branch of the federal government are also covered by the "White House Guidelines on Religious Exercise and Religious Expression in the Federal Workplace."

*Title VII generally prohibits an employer from discriminating against employees on the basis of race, color, sex, national origin or religion. Under Title VII, an employer must reasonably accommodate an employee’s religion unless doing so would create an “undue hardship.”

*The First Amendment's free-speech and free-exercises clause also protect public employees’ religious speech. The free-exercise clause provides that the government may not prevent individuals from freely practicing their religious faith. Public employees do not forfeit all of their free-exercise rights when they take a government job. If a government employer or workplace rule targets an employee’s religious speech and causes a substantial burden on his or her religious faith, it can be justified only if the employer shows a compelling interest. More often employer policies do not intentionally target an employee’s religious faith but have an incidental impact.

*In litigation, many public employers assert that they silenced an employee’s religious expression to avoid an establishment-clause conflict. The argument is that if the employer allows employees to speak about their religious faith on the job, the public will believe that the employer is sanctioning or endorsing the religious views.

You'll note all of that pertains to public employers. Private sector employers can have even more restrictions on their employees behavior in the workplace. They cannot, however, discriminate on the basis of race, color, sex or national origin. ENDA simply aims to add sexual orientation and gender identity to that.

If you attempted to file suit against your employer because you felt that your boss's hiring of a Native American, Latino, African-American, fill in the ethnicity here person, violated your First Amendment rights you'd be laughed out of court. Likewise, while your boss can't keep you from going to church he or she can regulate what you say about it in the office.

Gay people in the workforce are not going to keep anyone from praying or going to church. Therefore they really can't hurt anyone's religious freedoms. The Focus on the Family folks are still entitled to their "gay is evil" opinion but they won't be able use it to discriminate against the drag queen in the cube next to them.

Barbara Ehrenreich on Gay Marriage

My interest in Barbara Ehrenreich began with her book Nickled and Dimed, a definite MUST for anyone who thinks that it's entirely on the shoulders of the hourly-wage employee if they're not affluent and successful. I also suggest following that one up with her look at white-collar work, Bait and Switch. She shows what really goes on in the attempt to survive--or join--the world of work.

Cheeky to a near-fault, Ehrenreich has provided some of the most biting social commentary in her book This Land is Their Land. And one of the reasons I bought the book was because of her take on same-sex marriage.

I actually read this book a few months back, but I found my copy in the backseat of the car. And my thoughts immediately went here.

In the form of satire, Ehrenreich posits that what's missing from the PR effort in gay marriage is to show how we're doing just great without the legal rights. We can stay up all night partying, even if we're well past our party prime. We can leave relationships on a whim. Forget debates on kids! As one couple I know pointed out, they don't want a marriage: their mortgage is MUCH harder to get out of!

All this sound like too much? I understand...and laugh heartily at her humor!

My relationship is valid with or without the government stamp of approval. Unfortunately, what's not okay with me isn't simply the fundamental legal benefits of marriage. It's the fact that if my partner gets killed in an auto accident (Heaven forbid!), and has not established a health care directive, his estranged sister has more right to make decisions than me. In the event of his death--unless he has taken extreme precautions to set up the legal aspects--all of his belongings default to his family...despite our consistent communication, and his family's--well--lack, thereof.

There's a lot that won't be resolved by simply giving same-sex marriages the name "marriage". Churches will still debate the moral implications. Fights will still ensue. But are we arguing a moral point?

I noticed this idea today, too, because of Les's post on the DOMA lawsuit coming out of MA. Yes, it's time. And certainly, this has an infinitely better shot of passing the bar than anything else. But we need to be honest, here. Just getting DOMA off the record is a start--not a finish line.

And I have my own take on "DOMA", for its semantic implications...but that's another post entirely.

Save Bryce

As I was listening to OutQ on XM, Michelangelo Signorile was taking calls on the plight of 23 year old Bryce Faulkner. Faulkner is a pre-med student from El Dorado, Arkansas. His mother just found out he was gay and apparently isn't too happy about it.

According to the Rev. Brett Harris's website, Faulkner's family has threatened to take away their support of his college education and nearly everything else if he doesn't get "cured."(WARNING: You may want to turn the volume down on your computer, the Rev. Harris has lots of sounds on his site when you arrive)

Bryce Faulkner is a bright young pre-med student who, like many in college, was totally dependent upon his parents for survival. His car, his cell phone, his education, even his job was all connected to his parents purse strings. Bryce was making plans to come out to his parents, but before he had the opportunity to carry out these plans, his mother found his email password and discovered communications between he and his lover Travis Of Green Bay, Wisconsin. As any person from the south, especially those whom have a conservative fundamentalist family and has come out of the closet knows, the family can become quite volatile in their reaction to the news. Bryce is no exception to this. In order to manipulate Bryce into accepting "treatment" for his homosexuality, they took away everything and left him the choice of becoming homeless and destitute or going into therapy. As anyone can imagine, this wasn't much of a choice. Being in the closet in a small town left him no one to speak to or to seek help to get him through the transition from the closet and into the light of day. His family took away every resource he had and left him with no phone to call for help, a car to drive to any help that might be out there and no money to even take a bus to Wisconsin to be with his lover. The program he is going into is a 14 month program, one of the most severe and intense of these kinds of programs.

Bryce and Travis love one another deeply. The very reason Bryce was going to come out of the closet was in order to move closer to Travis because they wish to spend the rest of their lives together. Anyone who loves another can understand the turmoil and deep pain Travis is feeling right now. Having someone you love manipulated into pretending the love you share is an affront to God and unacceptable. Being manipulated into being cloistered away for over a year of intense brain washing techniques that tell you your homosexuality is a choice, your love is unnatural and you will sent to a place of fire and brimstone unless you submit to their philosophical interpretation of theology. Anyone one who has even the slightest knowledge of programs like those offered by Exodus International (a group that believes homosexuality is a choice and can be changed through prayer and counseling) can be spiritually demoralizing, psychologically destructive and emotionally devastating. As a person who has had someone close to them go through this kind of treatment, I make it my mission to help anyone who is forced to go into this kind of misguided and ill-informed rehabilitation programs.

Harris doesn't indicate where this deprogramming is going to take place, but the site has gotten a lot of notice and has spawned a FaceBook group as well as a Twitter account. According to the FaceBook page, the Faulkner's have threatened Harris with litigation saying they're being slandered. So far it's all a good deal of they said vs. they said, but none-the-less compelling stuff.

Many of us are or know folks who have family like this: deeply religious to the point they've decided it's their job to do God's judgment. All I can say is if parents attempted to stop their child from being left-handed or brown-eyed they'd be the ones being carted off to some form of deprogramming. Being gay, lesbian, queer, bi or trans-gendered is a TRAIT. It isn't something we choose. It isn't a lifestyle "choice." It's WHO WE ARE. GET USED TO IT. WE AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE.

Ahem. Stepping off the soap box now.

Frankly, if there are mental health professionals performing any sort of deprogramming they ought to have their license revoked for participating in junk science. My guess is that, more likely, poor Bryce has been sent to some religious institution that will "deprogram" him straight into a lifetime of self-destructive behavior.

Massachusetts sues over DOMA

FINALLY! The state of Massachusetts is suing the Federal Government over DOMA. From AP:

BOSTON (AP) — Massachusetts is suing the federal government over a law that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

State Attorney General Martha Coakley filed the lawsuit Wednesday in federal court in Boston. It says the federal Defense of Marriage Act interferes with the right of Massachusetts to define marriage as it sees fit.

The 1996 federal law denies federal recognition of gay marriage. Massachusetts was the first state to allow the practice.

The Boston-based Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders has already sued over the federal law. It says it discriminates against gay couples and is unconstitutional because it denies them access to federal benefits that other married couples receive.

Castro and Homosexuality, a la Merton

Getting married?

If you're planning a wedding, you're likely finding lots of dreck for same-sex couples out there on the web. Most of us find bits and pieces here and there and look to straight sites for guidance and it just doesn't work. Never fear, help is on the way.

Check out queerwedding.com. The web master and her partner just got married and she decided to help other couples plan their perfect ceremony. The site is still a work in progress. She's looking for any and all advice or info folks have to share.

I'll provide a link to her site on the side bar so you can easily go there and keep up with the progress!

Kris Dresen: comic genius

If you've been around this site for awhile you know I'm one of those late bloomers, came out at 35. When I was coming out, of course I was ravaging teh interwebz for anything and everything lesbian. I came across a rare gem in all that mess: Kris Dresen.

Dresen is a comic artist and she creates inky tableaus of we lesbians at our best and at our worst. And sometimes, she makes a serious funny. Follow the link, I guarantee you've experienced that conversation if not witnessed it.

In defense of hate speech, or what do you have against lima beans Les?

A recent poll suggests we as a country believe hate is on the rise. Rasmussen Reports’ study suggests the recent shooting at the Holocaust Museum and the assassination of a late term abortion doctor are likely contributors to the general feeling tensions are on the rise.

Public policy seems contradictory to that for the LGBTQ community. Barney Frank has introduced a version of ENDA that includes the Trans community. Seven states have legalized gay marriage. The Obama administration has made a nod towards benefits towards same-sex partners. It would seem that we’re gaining acceptance more and more.

But there always seems some backlash. The two incidents noted above aside, we had our own look at bald-faced bigotry when the Neo-Nazi’s showed up to protest Pride. There protest merely succeeded in making the event a success for the GLO organizers. But the hate-mongers' message was not missed.

Hate is still alive and well.

Attempts to quell the hate abound. Local lawmaker Sara Lampe has worked, so far unsuccessfully, to pass anti-bullying legislation. There are also many who wish to pass laws banning hate speech. The argument is we stop the hate speech before it escalates into violence.

I’m afraid it isn’t that simple. Stopping hate-fueled speech won’t stop the hate. The root cause here is the hate not the speech. That hate is going to exist whether the haters are silent or the loudest bigots on the block.

Let’s pretend for a minute I hate lima beans. Ok, no pretending, I REALLY hate lima beans. And I bitch all the time about what a scourge on the vegetable world lima beans are and how I’d like to burn every field that produces lima beans. Governor Nixon hears my rants and decides I’m a danger to Missouri’s farmers and passes a law that I’m not allowed to even say the word lima bean. That may shut me up, but it certainly won’t make me quit hating lima beans, or avoiding lima beans or even smashing them when I think no one is looking. In fact, it’s liable to make that behavior worse.

Yes those signs and words the Neo-Nazi’s brought to our Pride hurt and were hard to hear. But I’m glad they showed up. I’m glad they showed their faces. I’m glad I was able to look them in the eye. Because like it or not, now they can’t hate in a vacuum where we’re just a bunch of faceless fags.

Further, knowing they are around helps all of us to be vigilant. More importantly, law enforcement knows they are around. There were several of those young men whose FBI portfolio was created or got fatter that day. And at the very least, the speech gives them a vent for the vitriol they feel. While that vent isn’t enough for some, it’s enough for most.

This country has a long-standing tradition of allowing, accepting and even encouraging dissent, even when that dissent is difficult to hear. Dissent is the sincerest form of patriotism because without a flow of ideas, good and bad, this country may as well cease to exist. In a nation that is for the people, of the people and by the people there are going to be a wildly diverse collection of ideas and opinions. And those are surely going to clash from time to time.

Obama's benefits plan misses the mark

President Obama signed an Executive Order last night extending sick leave and long term care benefits to same-sex federal workers but does not go so far as to include health care or retirement benefits. Needless to say, there was much rancor over the slight nod in our direction.

U.S. Rep Jared Polis an openly gay Democrat from Colorado said:

“I am glad the president has decided to extend benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees. The exclusion of health care and retirement benefits because of DOMA, however, provides little real benefit to same-sex partners and is a far cry from the equality we seek. I again call on the president to repeal DOMA or work with Congress to end this law.”

Still the order is a step in the right direction. The Gay Rights Movement has suffered setbacks over the last year, but also cleared many hurdles. Seven states now have legalized gay marriage with still others working in that direction. Prop 8 was a stunning setback for California, but many believe the stage is set for a federal case to be made.

Outrage at the Moxie

The movie “Outrage” is coming to the Moxie on June 26. The film by documentary filmmaker Kirby Dick kicks Washington politicians out of the closet. These are the politicians who attempt to hide their sexuality by actively opposing gay rights legislation.

The film talks about Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho who found himself in hot water after “lewd” behavior in an airport and Sen. Edward L. Shrock, of Virginia, who resigned after being outed by The Advocate. The filmmakers also speak with some politicians, such as retired U.S. Representative Jim Kolbe who was out while in office.

Asked if he thought the film would be dismissed in a San Francisco Chronicle article, Dick says, “We spent nearly three years making this film, and we had a team of researchers. We made very sure that our cases were very strongly built. So, I'm 100 percent confident in our position.”

None-the-less the film will be controversial and make lots of folks in Washington uncomfortable if not angry.

Traditional marriage explained

Hilarious

Pride and Prejudice

GLO’s annual PrideFest has always been a hot topic and not always in a positive way. Many in our community believe GLO mismanages the event and holds it back. The members of this year’s Pride committee set out to quiet those complaints.

Full disclosure, until a few weeks ago, I was a member of the committee. I left for personal reasons, I spread myself way too thin the last year. The Wife has often commented I need to stop trying to save the world long enough to spend some time with her. I can’t argue with that.

I also strongly felt the Pride Committee was over ambitious this year. However, I will say this year’s Pride was much better attended and planned than last year’s event. I suspect that’s due more to the attention the Nazi’s brought to the event than the organizers.

Cabaret was well advertised. Pride was not. At least until Roger Ray got an opportunity to grand stand over the Nazi’s coming to protest.

There were more vendors. PROMO, APO and several church groups were out in full force and likely got some much needed exposure. In addition to the drag entertainment, the committee was able to get live music. The last act, Summer Osborne, kept the party going until 9:20.

I was also pleased to see Jeanette Oxford there, she is an out state lawmaker. She came to help PROMO’s cause. She also got a chance to talk to Cory De Vera from the News-Leader. Sadly, Ms. De Vera didn’t really use much of that interview and chose to focus on the protest instead.

There are three out lawmakers in Missouri. It’s a great story. But I’m sure for the News-Leader it’s a bit too edgy.

And I’m not saying the protest wasn’t newsworthy. At least KOLR 10 and the News-Leader covered it, which is more than can be said for KY-3 and KSPR. Which is sad, because I know the big news is the triple murder in Cole Camp, but given the shooting at the Holocaust Museum this past week, the Nazi’s protesting is also a good story those outlets chose to miss.

However, GLO needs a lot of work in the public relations arena. They can hardly advertise a major event like Pride and didn’t do a whole lot to get their own message out about the folks protesting the event. I hope they can get better at that because it’s really hurting the organization.

GLO offers a lot of great services, from support groups to movie nights. Yet, very few in our community take advantage of it. Sure you can chalk some of it up to people not wanting to hang out on Commercial Street but most of it comes down to poor marketing. Granted, GLO is a volunteer organization and that can be a challenge.

Reaction from the crowd attending Pride was mixed. I heard everything from Pride was better than last year to “This sucks.”

From my vantage point, it seemed most folks were enjoying themselves but Pride was still mostly the same, just with a few more vendors and some loud mouths. And truthfully, unless the GLO Board sees fit to court more business support and run Pride more like the Black Tie affair, it will likely never be more than a big party next to the GLO Center.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with it being a big party next to the GLO Center, but it all comes down to what the Community wants. Which is also problematic because we as a community are SO good at being divided and often our own in-fighting does far more damage than a protest by a fringe group.

The Nazi's are coming, don't hide

Roger Ray’s heart is in the right place. In his latest editorial in the News-Leader, Dr. Ray calls for the Queen City community to come out and stand up to the Nazi Group planning to protest this Sunday’s Pride event.

To quote the good doctor:

The day I read in the News-Leader that our Human Rights Commission was being cut from the city's budget, I was also handed a notice published by the local neo-Nazi group, the National Socialist Movement, announcing their intentions to disrupt this weekend's Pride Fest (Sunday, 1 to 8 p.m., on Commercial Street).

The plight of the gay community in Springfield has certainly improved over the past decade, but we are a long way from being the kind of city that is so free of racial, gender and sexual prejudice that we can close down our Human Rights Commission. But in the absence of a city-funded office to advocate for the targets of discrimination and hate crimes, persons of conscience must become increasingly willing to publicly and visibly stand up in defense of the rights of minorities in Springfield.

As we learned in the 2001 incident in which a local black man was stabbed by neo-Nazi skinheads in a Denny's restaurant, the perpetrators of these hate crimes can be difficult to apprehend when they are acting in a group. It took nearly three years to find and charge those responsible for the knife attack on Maurice Wilson. We are fortunate that the attackers were found and identified at all because these gangs tend to move their members around the country to avoid detection and apprehension since one flabby, tattooed bald guy with bad teeth looks a lot like other dentally challenged, heavily tattooed, hairless, unemployed, corpulent men.

I had been invited to speak at the Pride Fest and was weighing that invitation against an invitation to go to a friend's lake house. The thought of a gang of thugs in black uniforms, decorated with red swastikas attempting to disrupt the Pride Fest sealed my decision. The stated goal of this little gang of terrorists is to "let the homosexuals know that they are not welcome in our town and that we will not tolerate their "celebration"."(sic)

I’ll reserve from commenting on the good doctor’s decision to not go to his friend’s lake house.

I do applaud Dr. Ray’s appeal that the straight community join us at our Pride celebration. We welcome all who support us to the party, and Nazi’s or no, it should be a good time. I think we can all agree that the more we stop dividing things between gay and straight the more we can accomplish together.

But back to the matter at hand, I saw the same flyer Dr. Ray did. I think he’s taking things a twee bit out of context. Yes, the Nazi’s are coming to Pride, to protest. They have a First Amendment right to do so. But let’s examine some hard facts:

1. Pride is being held on private property. There will be police there. The Nazi’s won’t be allowed on said private property.
2. The public property the Nazi’s will have available to protest on is a sidewalk. A small, crumbling sad stretch of sidewalk on Commercial Street where few of the Pride celebrants will even be able to see them.

So if the Nazi’s disrupt Pride it’s because we LET them. What irks me beyond measure about Roger Ray’s over-exuberant attempt at help is it gives the Nazi’s just what they want, they now think we’re afraid of them.

Well, we aren’t afraid of a few Nazi’s Dr. Ray. I’ve read the National Socialist Movement’s literature. Yes, they’re a scary group who believe in the most horrible bigotry imaginable. But the Nazi’s also know there are going to be cops there and none of them want to get arrested. They just want to make enough noise and nuisance that one of us queers gets out of line and slugs one of them. Then they can show the world what reprobates we are.

Do. Not. Give. Them. The. Pleasure.

I challenge each and everyone of you to outright ignore them and if you must speak to them, let honey drip from your tongue. Do not give them the satisfaction of thinking for one nanosecond you give a rat’s ass about their worthless bigotry. The minute you take their bait, we all lose.

Gay Clout

In the movie “Angels In America,” Roy Cohn’s character scoffs that in years of trying homosexuals have been unable to pass an equal rights amendment. He says this is because they lack clout. And it often feels we are relegated to a second class citizenship.

Only seven states allow gay marriage. In 30+ states, we can still be fired from jobs and evicted from homes. We cannot sponsor people from abroad as spouses. The refrain “marriage is between a man and a woman” has even issued forth from a beauty queen’s lips …

…and it bit her in the ass.

It would seem our cloutless status may be changing. But forcing Miss California to rethink her words is child’s play compared to the “clout” we wield economically. As proponents of Prop 8 found, we aren’t without gay teeth and will bite.

When the list of major donors to Prop 8 became public, many of the businesses who gave their financial support to the initiative found their gay patrons no longer supporting them. In some cases, these businesses found themselves with a host of picketers outside their doors. The reaction may not have had a public policy impact immediately, but I’m sure those folks are thinking really hard about publicly supporting something of that nature in the future.

Our pocket books may have an even greater impact on the issue of Gay Marriage. In the June 3 edition of Newsweek, the magazine reports that Massachucetts has seen a positive economic impact from same-sex marriage:

In the five years since legalizing same-sex marriage, Massachusetts has gained $111 million in spending from gay weddings, according to a new study published by UCLA's Williams Institute, which studies sexual-orientation law and public policy. "That's money buying flowers, hotels, caterers, hiring a band—all the things that go into a wedding," explains M. V. Lee Badgett, a coauthor of the study.

On a recent trip to Kansas City, I picked up the gay weekly paper there and learned KC is actively courting same-sex newly weds from Iowa to honeymoon there.

If the UCLA study’s numbers are right, at $7400 per wedding, few states can afford not legalize same-sex marriage or at the very least civil unions. If they don’t, they’re costing their states tens of thousands of dollars … given that 10 percent of us are gay.

In fact, Congress evaluated the issue back in 2004 and came to the conclusion that if all 50 states legalized same-sex marriage the federal government would see tax revenues of $1billion. The simple fact of the matter is there are lots of gay dollars to be had out there and so far seven states have a monopoly on that revenue.

Human nature being what it is, I can’t imagine many states will continue to let those states be the sole beneficiaries. It may be queer as a three dollar bill, but those queer Benjamins still spend at Wal Mart.

:::FROM WILDELIFE::: Bene Vita, Little Rock, cozy and tasty

The get me through to Friday post

It’s Wednesday so we’re more than half way to the weekend. Which means, duh, we’re all thinking about the weekend. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m more than a little peeved I’ve got Thursday and Friday workday to deal with.

Harumph.

Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of my time pining for the weekend and wasting time at www.textsfromlastnight.com. The site is essentially a compendium of drunk texting nationwide. A sample? So glad you asked:

(610): Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.

And speaking of drunken debauchery, looking forward to the weekend? While I’m not sure there are any drunks or any debauches but The Queen City Cabaret kicks off Pride week this Sunday, June 7 at 7 p.m. at the Skinny Improv. Tickets can be purchased by calling 831-9938. Prices are from $25 to $35 and entertainment ranges from music to comedy to drag.

There’s a whole host of other activities going on from Monday forward. Check GLO’s site for details.

Gwedded!

Where have I been?

Well, for starters I got married. Or had a commitment ceremony. However you choose to look at it the GF is now the Wife.

The morning of our ceremony we had some last minute details to work out. Of course a trip to Wal Mart was involved. As we sashayed in, the Wife saw a former classmate from high school.

She didn’t want to talk to this person, not someone she was close with and I think there might have even been the hint of fear that this person would be judgmental about us. But then the Wife announced, “If we had more time I think I would go up and inform her that we’re getting gay married today.”

And that’s when we decided, it’s not enough to say we’re married. We have to tell people we’re GAY married.

My mother, bless her heart, only had one high speed come apart that day … the cake lady was late and the cake was wrong. Now, not dreadfully wrong. It didn’t say, “Happy Wedding Brent and Trish,” like a certain item did at my first marriage.

No the cake lady got two of the layers mixed up so that the chocolate layer was smaller than the Creamcicle layer and in Mom’s eyes that was a crime. I think she was ready to go after the lady with an ice pick.

But the ceremony was lovely. Very small, just family. My blond twin performed the nuptials, then we all ate too much cake and drank really good champagne.

And then, because I love the Wife, we went for beers and to the cage fights at the Shrine. Ah romance.

The Wife enjoyed herself immensely. I had fun but was so worn out from all the wedding prep, I fell asleep in one of those oh so comfy chairs. Ahem.

Moving on.

I’ve also been working on some other personal projects, oh and I once again have the Vulcan Death Flu, not to be confused with the H1N1 virus. No this is just general hacking, wheezing and swallowing dozens of Mucinex, chased with the Wife’s magic chicken noodle soup.

So once I’m completely back on my feet, I’ll be back to the snark you’ve come to know and love. I’ve got a smackdown coming on Fedora as well as a rather famous barbeque joint in KC, but praise for an amazing pizza joint there.

And a word of congrats to the seven states where gay marriage is now a reality legally. Let’s face it, there are those of us who don’t need the government’s blessings over our union, but it is the right thing … and bit by bit we’re losing small battles but winning the war.

Another food review from STL

While I raved about Modesto in the last post, I have to admit that there was a restaurant we tried that had less than exciting results.

BARcelona had a couple of fantastic things going for it. The idea is great: a small tapas and wine cafe nestled in a quiet neighborhood just off a business district. And the weather was perfect for sitting outside. Unfortunately, the seating was limited, but BARcelona had thought of that. They put in large French doors that they kept open during nice weather, so most of the dining room was given a soothing, gentle breeze during the meal.

The drink I ordered was the restaurant's namesake (a BARcelona), and included a great blend of Stoli Vanil Vodka, Midori Melon Liqueur, Chambord, and pineapple juice. Because of the mixture, it's a beautiful green and red combo, like an inverted stoplight effect. After much deliberation, my boyfriend and I decided it was probably closest in flavors to a Now-n-Later. I enjoyed it heartily, even if it was a tad sweet--it made the good afternoon that much sweeter!

Unfortunately, the menu options were not quite as tasty as we had hoped. We ordered three items: pan con alioli (garlic bread with olive oil), Bacalao (fried codfish and potato cakes with lemon garlic alioli), and Solomillo con Cabrales (grilled beef with blue cheese, spinach, and served in a Rioja reduction). All of these quickly appealed to our palates, especially our love of garlic-flavored foods.

The bread, surprisingly, showed up last. And to be fair, we could've made this at home, using basic garlic powder, cheese, and some olive oil on the side. It wasn't anything unusual or special. It tasted only slightly different than the house bread, which was served at the table, sans butter. (Sorry, a MAJOR pet peeve for me!)

The Bacalao sounded unusual to me--a combination I wouldn't normally put together. I had tried to be daring on this trip, but much to my dismay, this proved my adventurousness to have been better left elsewhere. There was nothing specifically appealing about this dish. Its appearance reminded me of salmon cakes my mom used to make on Fridays during Lent. The potatoes were not hearty, but overly mashed, even creamy. Given that it was paired with codfish, even hash brown potatoes would have been a good alternative. The only firm texture came from the overly browned crust. And unfortunately, there was no seasoning. Salt from the codfish was very apparent, but no herbs or interesting flavors to tickle the tongue.

Finally, Solomillo con Cabrales--what should have been the piece de resistance--turned out to be as disappointing as it could have been. The meat was well prepared, certainly; it's difficult to get a chef who can hit "medium" right on the nose--not overdone, and not too pink. The cheese was a nice touch, and the spinach, while wilted, was not anything like I remembered from being a kid. The disapppointment in this dish was the sauch, which was more like a light glaze than a reduction. Overly sweetened, it competed with the saltiness of the cheese and the natural flavor of the meat, rather than offering a nice compliment. Personally, in some ways, this sauce would have made a nice salad dressing, rather than with this dish.

After a little discussion, my boyfriend and I agreed that BARcelona hit what happens with too many restaurants that expand too quickly (this is one of two locations). Its menu became simplified, so that you can have a similar experience in another location, in terms of food. But it has sacrificed a great deal of flavorful personality in the process. I'd be willing to give it a shot again, but only if I was certain that the food was more daring--or at least more like what we thought we'd be getting by the menu's description.

Finally! A food review

Les has asked me a few times to consider writing a restaurant review, and I finally have my opportunity this weekend.

Because of my birthday last week, the boyfriend and I drove up to grand St. Louis just to get away from work and enjoy one another's company. But mostly, I wanted FAR away from work. Especially since I was taking off a whole week for my birthday.

If you are in the area, I highly recommend taking a trip to The Hill, St. Louis's famous Italian-based neighborhood. But the restaurant I'm suggesting isn't going to be serving pasta, salad, or pizza. My favorite place in the neighborhood is easily Modesto.

Modesto is a wine and tapas bar, and is both comfortable and lively. My boyfriend and I found the place last year on a trip to the city, and it was definitely a gold mine of a find! The food is always expertly prepared, with just the right amount of spice. It's presentation is clean, and the menu options are generally way above standard.

For those unfamiliar with tapas as a food genre, loosely, it translates as an appetizer. In most restaraunts who specialize in this type of cuisine, it refers to "little plates", consisting of appetizer portions, but instead of a single plate, diners typically order several options. In this visit and between the two of us, we were able to stuff ourselves with roughly five plates. By the last plate, though, we were feeling sluggish.

My boyfriend and I discovered a shared affection for asparagus early in our relationship. When we see the option available on a menu at a new place, we usually try to include it as a side for at least one of us. If at Modesto, try the ESPÁRRAGOS CON ROMESCO. Grilled to near-perfection, it comes drizzled with a superb red sauce.

We also ordered the ALBÓNDIGAS CASERAS, a veal and beef meatball, which comes with a tomato sauce, then is topped with Manchego cheese, a favorite we discovered in our first visit.

After already being mostly full, we decided we should order one more plate--just to be sure. We chose the EMPANADILLAS DE POLLO, a mini Eempanada, consisting of chicken and Ibérico ham, shaved on site. Incredibly tasty, but overly filling, this was a fantastic way to end our meal.

Don't forget to order drinks! While the boyfrined enjoyed a Sangria Roja (he actually passed up a regular glass of wine!), I relished in a glass of Glorioso Crianza. Their extensive list of options, ranging from mixed drinks to fantastic bottles of wine will be sure to satisfy anyone's tastes.

I do recommend making a reservation, if you are sure when you want to eat. We had no problem getting a table at about 8 p.m., but we had to be willing to eat inside on a really beautiful night. If you plan to take Modesto up on their sidewalk dining option, arrive early. Tables fill up quickly on beautiful days!

In case anyone is concerned, this is an incredibly friendly atmosphere. We had a couple of odd looks from other patrons, but the staff was more than hospitable. If you're in the area, give it a shot!

How does one justify opposing a bullying ban?

Okay, as a person who considers himself religious, I understand the need for a church to stand up for its principles. But there's a serious problem in existence when I see that a church is ON RECORD saying that they oppose the ban on bullying.

If you think I'm making this up, I invite you to check out this link.

http://www.votervoice.net/Core.aspx?AID=917&APP=GAC&IssueID=17772&SiteID=-1

In short, the problem is--according to these bishops--because there's a bullying law on the docket, it might lead to same-sex marriage. In other states that have had bullying bans, the bans have been used in the case for same-sex marriage.

Human dignity is a primary teaching of the Catholic Church. It's the first tenet of the social teachings. Even from the USCCB's website, it reads, "...the measure of every institution is whether it threatens or enhances the life and dignity of the human person." This is a case in point where the dignity of human beings are being threatened, where worth is questioned, and lives sometimes become at stake.

Go to: http://www.cathnewsusa.com/article.aspx?aeid=13515#hys to voice your opinion on this article. Odds are good that you will find those who disagree, but even if you're not Catholic, this is a human issue!

Life lessons in a road trip

I eased back in the passenger seat of the GF’s car, glancing at my bare knee prickly stray hairs stood in contrast on my pale skin. I started to fuss but reminded myself, “We’re on vacation.” Well, not exactly.

Weekend getaway?

Kind of.

You’re over-thinking it, Les.

One of the GF’s cousin’s was getting married this past weekend and in a weird but welcome bit of good karma, the GF had a free hotel room. This meant we got to have weekend in Kansas City for cheap. Yay!

It was a chance for us to sleep in without intervention from the felines or the canine. It would be my first trip there since I was a kid. It was a chance to eat some real barbeque. It was a chance to relax.

Yeah. Right. Me? Relax?

Ask anyone who knows me, I can be a rather uptight so and so. I hate clutter. I plan everything … to death. Spontanaeity is something I’m working on in therapy. Which explains the fretting over the three stray hairs on my knee. My neuroses are well care for.

But I had decided, for once, to try to relax and just go with the flow. We only had one place we really had to be and the rest of the weekend was open to possibility. A rare treat for the two of us.

The GF had been uncharacteristically quiet when she burst forth with, “Are you ok with pizza for lunch? We’re about 35 miles from our destination and I just thought of a place to eat.”

I was amazed. I’d been so busy mentally chewing on my own minutia I had no idea most of our road trip was over. The trip was far shorter than I expected.

“Sure,” I said, “I’m good with whatever.”

I could tell from the sly sidelong glance I got she wasn’t convinced. I am an unrepentant foodie and I’m loathe to go to chain restaurants. Sure, when nothing else better presents itself I’ll go to an Applebee’s but I’m bound to be fussy about it. However, pizza is a safe zone for me because usually anywhere you go there’s a decent Mom and Pop pizza joint.

The GF plugged an address into her TomTom (lesbians and their tech toys) and 40 minutes later we were sitting in a delightful little place called Minsky’s Pizza. It’s a local chain in Kansas City that started out life in the 70’s. I’m fairly certain we visited the original one given the age of the building and fixtures. It was definitely my kind of place. The GF was tickled she’d found something that made us both happy.

As I glanced around the restaurant, I noticed the pre-teen birthday lunch at the table next to us. It brought back a flood of memories of my own pre-teen pizza parties that were nearly always at Pizza Hut. Back then I loved to go to Pizza Hut, the mere thought of it now makes my gut churn.

I dimly wondered when I got to be such an uppity so and so until the pizza came. My faith was renewed in the Mom and Pop chain. There were hunks of tomato in the sauce and the cheese on the pizza was real mozzarella. I decided I was picky, not uppity.

After we got to our hotel and changed, we made our way over to the park where the nuptials were to take place. I was excited when we got there because the park was on a lake that is the home waters to the University of Kansas rowing team. I was a coxswain in high school and since we were early I made the GF find the boathouse.

So far it had been a delightful and restful afternoon.

We met up with the inlaws and made our way into the recreation hall where the wedding was to take place. It was a beautiful stone and wood structure built in the 40s overlooking the lake, a lovely place to get married.

The GF always cries at weddings and had her tissue at the ready. She wound up using it to stifle giggles when the preacher kept mispronouncing the groom’s name. None-the-less the bride and the ceremony were lovely and when it was over the tension dam broke.

Weddings are stressful things, which is sad, because they should be happy celebrations. They usually are eventually, but up to the point of the reception everyone’s pucker factor -- guests included – is at squeeze factor ten.

There was a young lad at the wedding named Junior. I didn’t figure out who Junior was until half way through dinner, but I was well aware of his presence the minute the Bride and Groom walked out of the hall. As far as I could tell, Junior had run after them because his mother was yelling at him.

It was obvious that Junior was just done with all this wedding nonsense. He was ready to party and he didn’t have time for pleasantries such as dinner and cake.

I was reminded of my first wedding. I pretty much felt like Junior did. I really didn’t want to be dressed up and sit through all this hoopla. I wanted to eat cake and dance. This notion went over like a lead balloon with the maternal unit.

In fact, as I looked around the wedding I was attending I was overcome with the notion my mother would be completely appalled. This wedding was very free form and fairly casual. My mother would see it as unorganized. More to the point, my mother wouldn’t be in control of it.

My mom had complete control of my first wedding. I was glad of it too, I was entirely too busy starting a new job and settling into cohabitation with my now ex-husband. And, truthfully, she was thrilled to do it. I’ve always thought my mother could be a professional wedding planner but she’s only ever been interested in planning mine.

A lump formed in my throat as I thought of our upcoming big day. While I fully admit to having a wide control freak streak myself, as I’ve aged I’ve grown a little less fussy. And I really HATE overly formal.

Sure, it’s fine to put on the glad rags and go out on the town now and again but with time and one wedding behind me it’s very clear to me that formality isn’t the important part of a wedding. In fact, that’s all a wedding is, a mere formality.

But tell that to my overly formal mother.

Formal Maternal Unit aside, I think this time our wedding will be more about the GF and I celebrating our commitment to each other rather than what color of napkins to use and do the flowers match our hair. And because it’s unfair to ask the Maternal Unit to completely bend to my will, she got control of the flowers and the cake. So it will at least be a wedding she’s happy with as well.

Reflecting on all this, I began to relax, enjoy the wedding we were attending and allow myself just a twee bit of pride for going with the flow. That’s about the time the tornado sirens started.

Suddenly an erstwhile Park Ranger was in the room informing all of us we had to go to the basement of the building, “Right now.” This sentiment was echoed rather loudly by the Mother of the Bride who carries way more weight than THAT guy.

Relaxed ran straight for the basement and neuroses quickly took its place. The GF hates crowds, even more so in small enclosed places. I’m not fond of either, but when confronted with a tornado in any place other than my own home where I know where all the emergency stuff is? Well, hello basket case!

We steadfastly ignored the Park Ranger and Mother of the Bride. The GF was furtively looking out the window while trying to keep me from hyperventilating She mentioned needing a beer about then.

Beer? Keg. There’s a keg at this party and it’s in a stone enclosure on this floor that would probably withstand … “Well, honey let’s go get you a beer!”

The GF frequently looks at me as though I’ve grown a third head. I explained my logic and finally got her over there. And we both consumed a barley pop. I don’t know if it relaxed me or not but it didn’t hurt.

Fortunately for the Newlyweds the bad weather blew over and everybody, even Junior, could go back to the festivities. The GF and I said our goodbyes and decided to hit the casino. It was at that point we realized we’re old farts.

Twenty minutes and $30 into our gambling we knew we’d had too much day. The GF cashed out while I stood there silently cursing the penny slots. At least one of us had come out ahead.

We hardly slept, I think both of us were missing those felines and canine we were so sure always kept us up. We had a wonderful breakfast at First Watch the next morning and headed for home. The trip was fun, tornado drill aside, but it’s always good to be home … where I promptly got sick but it’s NOT the Swine Flu.

Not the Pig Flu and Unwashed Humanity

I do not have the Swine Flu, or excuse me, our government wants it referred to as the H1N1 virus. They’ve requested that so that pig farmers aren’t unduly harmed by bad press. I think most of us know that little name change, at this late stage in the game, is going to be of little or no help to pig farmers so I’ll move on.

I am sick, but I don’t have Swine Flu. I have verified this with a medical professional after being asked to do so by my employer. Apparently, Springfield is rife with illness, given the full waiting room and the weary doctors at Urgent Care, but so far none of us has the Swine Flu. Its NOT the Swine Flu.

I am a frequent flyer at Cox’s Urgent Care. Having switched jobs and thereby insurance companies and thereby network providers, I have only just now secured a primary care physician … who can’t see me until May 19. Since making this appointment, I’ve required medical care twice.

Good thing Urgent Care is there.

So far this year, I’ve had to visit for asthma issues, a scratched cornea, a dizzy spell and now Not the Swine Flu.

The first time I ever visited Cox’s Urgent Care, I wasn’t the patient. A friend was sick and the nurse they assigned to her is, I’ll just say it, hateful. In my other sojourns there, I’ve had this nurse myself and I at first wrote her behavior off to having bad day. Now I’ve had three encounters with her where she has just been hateful, so yeah hateful.

Beyond that, though, the staff there seem courteous, knowledgeable and efficient. I was in and out today in about two hours and that was with a friend, who also has Not the Swine Flu, needing to get checked out as well. He’d never been and marveled at how quickly and how well things went.

As we talked further, he mentioned he was unable to get into his primary care doctor for the check out. It caused us both to wonder is this one of the things we’re coming to in the healthcare industry, one now only sees one’s primary care doctor for routine items. If you’re sick, they don’t have time for you just go to Urgent Care then follow up with your regular doc. Let’s them get two copays out of you in some cases at the very least.

In some cases, it saves the long drawn out visit to your regular doctor. I find usually the wait is longer than they tell you and what should take an hour usually takes two or three. For something a simple as needing to see if you’ve got sinus infection, Urgent Care is often more efficient anyway.

The waiting room at Urgent Care is also vastly more entertaining.

Today’s cast of characters included: Small Screaming Child,Tanorexic Woman with a bad case of overexposed midsection,Overprotective Mom, Really Sick Woman Who Just Should Have Gone to the Emergency Room and the Car Accident Victims featuring Billy Joe Ray Bob.

I can’t help it, anytime I’m confronted with colorful humanity I find myself sitting there writing back stories for all of them. I’m even guilty of eavesdropping to help fill in the colorful details. But today, I didn’t even need to.

Woman Who Just Should Have Gone To ER was in the back about five minutes when they called the ambulance. She came in and went back to a room about the same time I did, I was only back there fifteen minutes. When I came back out to the waiting room to wait for my friend, the EMTs we’re milling around waiting to transport her.

I settled in and watched as Overprotective Mom and Overprotective Dad tried to cram into the Triage Room with their ill daughter. The nurses convinced them no harm would come to their daughter the three point two minutes it would take them to take her temperature and blood pressure. Mom stalked back to her waiting room chair and seethed, while Dad just looked uncomfortable holding his teen daughter’s blanket and pillow.

I felt ridiculously sorry for the young lady. I remember when my parents were like that … wait, they still are. The only reason I got to go to Urgent Care alone today was because I didn’t tell them I was going until after I went.

Tanorexic woman was also there with her Dad. He just sat there looking glum while she frightened the rest of us with her Velour track suit and exposed midriff. She looked irritated by Small Screaming Child and the only thing seemingly wrong with her was a really bad attitude.

The Car Accident Victims are those people who making sweeping generalizations true. They are the Ozarkers that cause most of us to cringe when we hear uppity East Coasters talking about them. We all get that odd feeling of being angry at those folks who are picking on them and thanking God we’re not wearing blue jean shorts with suspenders.

That’s precisely what Billy Joe Ray Bob was wearing. He was also using his outside voice to talk to his Momma who was a whole foot away from him. In short order, I had heard the harrowing tale that was their fender bender, watched Sis begrudgingly be wheeled off in a wheel chair and left to listen to Billy Joe Ray Bob recount his version of events of Carl Edwards’ wreck this past weekend.

Urgent Care, NASCAR and Not Swine Flu, does it get more absurd than that?

Well, now. That's...unfortunate.

It began with a text message from one of the lesbian cohort. Given that it was nearing 10 p.m., I figured it was my boyfriend, but no. That's okay.

After a little coaxing, my lesbian cohort buddy finally convinced me to just go out for a couple of drinks. Since they were really only a few blocks away, it made sense to just walk that direction and see the whole crew.

I walked in the front door, spotting the entirety of the lesbian gaggle against the bar, where one of them was tending bar. Okay, that sounds like fun.

"YOU HAVE TO GET AN ALMOND JOY." (Clearly, she had been drinking.)

I quickly realized amidst the pounding techno beats and low lights there was something I didn't miss about being out at a bar. Well that, and the smoke.

Bellying up, our bartender friend began pouring a shot for me. And really, who can say no if the shot's just poured for you, right there?

My text-fiend buddy had introduced me to the bar a couple of years ago, since it was so close to my place, and unfortunately, the clientele had not changed much. While I appreciate maturity in a man, even I have limits...nobody that could legitimately be my grandfather. Outside of the geriatric gays, there were a very small handful of younger guys. Not one of them all that attractive, unfortunately. If I had made the effort to go out, I want to at least look at pretty boys...especially since we were at a predominantly gay bar.

Can't do anything about it, but looking is not a crime. (I'd see the irony of this thought later.)

After another drink and a bit more conversation, I noticed the sign taped to the mirror over the bar. Apparently, there is a weekly ritual of a DJ (that explains the techno beats) and boy dancers. Okay. So far, the single pole is empty. If I play it right, I can leave before that happens.

No such luck. About that time, some guy jumped up on the stage and grabbed hold of the pole. Damn.

Now, I don't have a great body--I will never be confused with the latest cover model of GQ, but I also have awareness of this fact. I would not dance on a pole in public. Perhaps if I had one at home, but never in public...well, unless there was lots of money and I didn't have to take off anything.

The guy was gyrating and stepping lightly to the beat. And then the shirt came off. Again, I don't have a great body, but I am aware of this fact. Apparently, he was not fully aware. Skinnier than me, yes. But no definition. And peeling off his shirt revealed a couple of tattoos and a scar I could not identify.

Well, now. That's...unfortunate. For all of us.

Not being a fan of tattoos, anyway, I am not one that's going to just eyeball them for hours. But these were oddly placed. Some tattoos on a stomach make one wonder where they lead. These stopped just shy of that curiousity-driven spot.

Then the shorts came off.

The only man I've seen in any underwear in the last several months has been my boyfriend. I actually kind of prefer keeping it that way. This guy's flat ass and less than admirable package left my mouth agape...not in anticipation of something tasty.

I left as soon as I saw an ass crack. I looked back to notice much of the lesbian crew behind me.

The lessons of the night:

If you are a guy shaking your flat ass in public, keep it covered. Otherwise, you're encouraging lesbians to go home instead of stimulating the economy through liquor.

If you think looking is not a crime, God will get you. Really. It won't be pretty.

Well, on the other hand...

After a decade out of high school, I keep in touch with only a few very good, very dear friends from my alma mater. And that's okay, because to be honest, there's not many classmates with whom I care to keep contact.

Tonight one of those friends and I got together for dinner. Back in the day, I had the biggest crush on her. This was before I realized I kind of liked men more. A lot more.

We've stayed connected over the course of the years, and last year found out we are more alike than not. Her husband and my boyfriend are roughly the same age. Though they've never met, they have a number of similarities between them: an unwillingness toward change, obliviousness about relationships, lovable, caring, and ultimately sweethearts of guys.

For some reason, the topic turned to sex. We were talking, I'm sure, about how a long distance relationship works, but that was a couple of glasses of wine ago. She explained to me that this was one of her concerns in her marriage, since she has a strong desire for physical intimacy. I explained that I shared that particular affliction for affection. Further, I contended that being in a long-distance relationship is problematic for me, especially since I'm a romantic at heart.

I looked at her across the table and said, "I have to explain sometimes that if I wanted to just jack off, I could. It's not like porn is difficult to find or anything. But on the other hand..."

Yep. Came right out of my mouth without thinking. Fruedian slip or just a stupid mouth? I even hoped she'd have missed it and I could reel the words back in before she noticed or had a chance to question. That didn't happen.

She busted out a laugh while I turned red.

After an embarrassing chuckle to myself, I explained that, simply put, I only meant that there was something to physical intimacy with your partner, and that it can't be equated by self-stimulation.

Oh well, at least it got a laugh.

More on the whole Amazon debacle

Most people aren't buying Amazon's "Glitch" excuse. The whole mess created a firestorm on Twitter. It started as #amazonfail and graduated to #glitchmyass. The resulting furor has caused a public relations nightmare for the gigantic etailer.

With all the shouting, it's been hard to make sense of it all. Jane does a pretty good job of pulling it all together.

Point 1: This is not a one-off mistake. According to a post at Teleread.org, books with sexy content have been targeted by Amazon before. Craig Seymour, author of “All I Could Bare: My Life in the Strip Clubs of Gay Washington, D.C.,” was deranked in February. When questioned about this, Amazon claimed that it was adult content being intentionally filtered out. On April 10, 2009, Mark Probst, noticed that Gay romance authors Erastes and Alex Beecroft’s books from Running Press were deranked. On April 11, 2009, hundreds of GLBT books, including Probst’s own book, The Filly, were deranked. Amazon gave Probst the same response that certain content was deemed adult and thus filtered out of searches and lists. On April 12, 2009, all hell broke loose when the Twitterverse picked up on the deranking of gay, lesbian, erotic and feminist books. But to be clear, this started as far back as 2008. It’s just now come to a head.

There are numerous other points in the article and it really is quite thought provoking. Head there before posting your next Tweet. ;-)

Where did you learn about marriage?

I posted about this in my Wildelife blog a week ago or so, but after having a conversation this evening, it seemed appropriate to write something here.

After the latest decisions in favor of equal rights for LGBT citizens of the US, the attack ads are already in the works. Gay marriage is a terrorizing endeavor, bent on taking away the rights of the rest of society and leaving it in the hands of the small few.

Okay, I have a few problems with this anyway. For one, I've heard pundits and politicians alike suggest giving it to the people to decide. That was done in California last fall. It had bad results. There were a LOT of people who didn't realize that voting no was in FAVOR of gay marriage, but voting yes was AGAINST it. Call that stupidity on the part of the bill writer or whatever, when we "leave it to the people" to decide, it's not going to go well. Besides that, historically, people tend to mediocrity and the status quo, not for progressive ideas--you know, like equality.

All that said, one of the latest attack ads has been touting that kids will be taught in schools that gay marriage is equal.

My initial reaction is "AND???", but there's a basic premise that is entirely faulty here. My mom taught for 35 years in a public school system. I was raised around teachers. I even have a degree in education--which has been totally wasted, but for entirely different reasons. Many of my friends are educators. And there's a surprising fact, here...

NOT ONE OF THEM can remember ever teaching about marriage in any of their experiences. Not in elementary, not in high school, and not in most college courses. For that matter, not one of them can remember learning about marriage from their schools.

So, my question is plain and simple: Who is teaching marriage?

Bullied to death

An 11 year old boy from Springfield, MA committed suicide last week after countless taunts that he was gay. In fact, Carl Walker-Hoover didn't identify as gay but his mother found him hanging by an extension cord after she'd repeatedly appealed to her son's school to do something about the abuse.

From the ABC NEWS article:

Carl's suicide comes about a year after California eighth-grader Lawrence King was shot and killed by a fellow student in his classroom for supposedly being gay.

In response, GLSEN has launched a multipronged education campaign to fight the use of anti-gay language and bullying.

Its annual Day of Silence, started at the University of Virginia in 1996 with 150 students, has now grown to more than 7,500 middle and high schools nationwide. Participants draw attention to LGBT issues by not speaking for a day.

Since October, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network) has aired thousands of public service messages, "Think Before You Speak," to reduce the use of the slur, "That's so gay."

"When you are in elementary school, one of the first things you learn is the feeling of hurt when you are called 'gay' or 'fag,'" said Presgraves. "It doesn't matter if you are gay or straight. The term 'gay' has become synonymous with "uncool."

"The expression 'That's so gay' is one of the most heard in school, and students recognize it as derogatory," he said.

Carl would have turned 12 on this year's Day of Silence, April 17.

While Carl didn't identify as gay, studies indicate suicide rates among LGBT teens are higher than their heterosexual peers. Suicide rates among kids Carl's age are lower, but are reportedly on the rise.

Locally, Springfield Representative Sara Lampe has been actively working towards anti-bullying legislation.

Amazon saga continues: Hacked?

The plot gets even messier. A hacker is now claiming he exploited Amazon's own software to create the Big Gay Debacle. From Gizmodo:

Okay, maybe Amazon is off the hook. The well-known troll Weev is claiming that he's actually responsible for Amazon's sudden surge of LGBT prudishness. Which Valleywag says actually makes sense.

It's startingly simple: It doesn't take very many votes at all to get a product flagged as "inappropriate" and booted off the rankings. He says he created a script that generated a list of product IDs for every gay and lesbian book on Amazon. From there, he just needed a whole bunch of people to flag the books as inappropriate, which wasn't hard, because simply getting someone to go the URL of a successful flag would count as another one. Using an invisible iframe on popular websites owned by friends and a group of "third-worlders" he hired to register accounts, he generated enough votes to de-list gay and lesbian books en masse.

Lending credence to his claims, Valleywag notes that the "flag as inappropriate" feature is currently disabled. Free reign for inappropriate books! [Livejournal via Valleywag]

Off the hook? I'd say NOT. While being anti-gay is bad, having a major e-tailer site be THAT vulnerable to attack is even scarier. The bigger story here may not be that Amazon.com is anti-gay but that they denied being the victim of a nasty online attack.

Amazon says glitch not discrimation

While many of us are still scratching our heads over Amazon.com's decision/snafu/glitch that removed sales rankings from LGBT titles, the mystery seems to almost deepen.

From Publisher's Weekly:

A groundswell of outrage, concern and confusion sprang up over the weekend, largely via Twitter, in response to what authors and others believed was a decision by Amazon to remove "adult" titles from its sales rankings. On Sunday evening, however, an Amazon spokesperson said that a "glitch" had occurred in its sales ranking feature that was in the process of being fixed. The spokesperson added that there was no new policy regarding "adult" titles. As of Monday morning, a number of titles affected by the glitch were still without sales rankings. No one at Amazon was available this morning to discuss when the problem might be fixed or what caused the glitch.

For most of the weekend on Twitter, in conversations with the hash tag "#amazonfail," users were discussing the fact that the e-tailer was removing the sales rankings for books that it deemed featured "adult" content. Many readers, and writers, decried the fact that Amazon appears to be removing the sales ranking for titles that feature gay and lesbian characters and/or themes.

The director of the Erotic Authors Association, who goes by the pen name Erastes, told PW that many of her members "noticed their titles had been stripped of their sales rankings" on Amazon. One, Mark Probst, contacted a customer service representative at Amazon and wrote about the exchange on his blog. Probst wrote that the Amazon rep responded to his inquiry by saying that "'adult' material" is being excluded from appearing in "some searches and best seller lists" as a "consideration of our entire customer base."

Whatever the cause, titles like James Baldwin's Giovanni's Room and Annie Proulx's Brokeback Mountain are among the those that have lost their sales ranking. Bloggers aren't buying the glitch explanation and some are calling an Amazon boycott, but the fact that such a wide range of titles have lost their rankings suggest that whatever Amazon may have been trying to do went haywire

.

So first they told an LGBT author, the reason the titles were disappearing was they wanted to hide "adult" content from younger customers. When the furor broke out they changed their story to say a "glitch" caused the problem.

Searches conducted by yours truly are now turning up LGBT titles but the rankings situation has yet to be resolved. I've yet to decide how to feel about this, large companies often have problems where the right hand doesn't know what the left is doing, but I'd be lying if I said I don't buy the sudden switch in story.

Amazon.com relegates gay titles to porn status

Nope, not a joke. Tell everyone you know and for heaven's sake don't use Amazon until they change their stupid policy:

See this gizmodo article.

Amazon in it's infinite wisdom has decided that LGBT books are now "adult" content. What this means is not only do LGBT books not show up in the best seller lists, but a search for homosexuality in their search function only turns up anti-gay titles.

Folks this is definitely NOT ok. Danielle Steele titles, which are often VERY steamy, are still in the regular searches but a book on lesbian parenting is now considered porn by the geniuses at Amazon.

Ladies' woman

Fiction for your Friday is a bit early this week ...

She told me she liked women. Originally, this seemed like really good news. I was all about women who liked women, especially attractive ones. I like women. Hey great minds!

Well, not so much.

The more I spent time with her, the more I noticed her noticing women. And talking about women. Women who weren’t me. Yet that were was always that reassuring, “But I find you attractive,” disclaimer. So it was ok. It had to be.

Right.

At first, I found her frequent out of town trips and insistences we do things with our own friends separately refreshing. It can get suffocating being with a person who merges into you, who get hurts if you want a night out with your buds or you just want to hide in your safety zone and read a book. I thought it was healthy.

It wasn’t.

At first, we spent more and more time apart. Then, it felt like we were apart when we were in the same room. Then, this lover of women wanted no part of my touching her. She was having her period. Her breath was bad. My breath was bad. The sheets were the wrong color.

I swam the river denial. She was just going through a phase. We moved a bit fast, so things need to slow down and then they’ll even out. We’re meant to be and if I’m just patient, if I am her rock, she’ll drift back to me.

As she floated out into the ocean of her own desires.

There was no evidence, no defining moment, no righteous declaration. There was only the sinking feeling I’d been left behind. She never had to admit her guilt, she was not capable of feeling it. Why should she? Some infatuations don’t turn out.

They turn towards a new infatuation.

I can’t even be angry, for the same has happened to me too. There is a spark of interest that can only fan the smallest, brief flash. The fire can’t be sustained by a bit of paper that floats into the flame.

If you’re lucky, after several good tries, you meet someone who transcends the initial infatuation. Her spark hits some form of love accelerant and the fire grows bright and hot. In time, it dims but slows into a steady, warm glow.

She told me she likes women. But after awhile, she told me she just liked me.

Domestic partnership registry in Columbia

Just days after Iowa overturned their ban on same sex marriage, Columbia, MO made a baby step in that direction. The City Council unanimously voted for a Domestic Partnership registry.

The registry, which would allow unmarried couples to register as partners, is open to couples of any sexual orientation for a $25 fee. But most of the people who testified spoke of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community’s need for such a registry.

The registry, administered through the Columbia/Boone County Department of Public Health and Human Services, would not obligate employers to give domestic partner benefits or force hospitals to allow partners access to patients, but it would serve as proof of partnership for institutions that already recognize those relationships.

While this step is a far cry from Iowa's momentous decision, here's hoping our own new City Council members take steps in this same direction.

Support from friends

After hearing about Iowa's decision to legalize same-sex marriage just before the weekend, I immediately thought of a friend of mine. She was born and lived in Iowa for a few years, but moved to the Queen City with her parents while she was still quite young.

I've known her about six or seven years at this point, and in that time, I've watched her grow immensely. This straight friend was once one of the most conservative, Jesus-freak Catholics I've ever met. Now, she has become far more socially aware--probably in part to getting a degree in social work. And with that awareness, she's become more frustrated by the world she sees surrounding her, which in turn has led her to take some time away from church.

This is not about church-bashing. As one who grew up Catholic, I have little I can defend at times. I'm as livid as anyone about Benedict XVI's illogical remarks on condom usage and AIDS. It's a regular occurrence for me to be frustrated by the number of indivdiuals and churches who claim to be followers of Jesus--a compassionate and loving, person if one existed!--but deny dignity to anyone who's "different". (Be that difference sexuality, nation of origin, race, or another creed...)

But after Iowa's decision late last week, I decided to call this friend. She was excited to hear from me, and immediately all I could say was, "Well, you have a reason to be proud of your home state now, huh!?" She agreed enthusiastically. Then after a bit of small talk, she said to me that she was glad for the decision, because it was an opportunity for me--for ME--someday to get married.

These are the friends of whom I am most proud. These are individuals who, if not challenged by the idea of knowing someone who was both monogamous and gay, would likely believe that the two were incompatible with one another. These are the friends who probably would vote against anything labeled "same-sex" simply for the terminology, except that they know someone who is directly affected by the decision.

I feel a bit like a part of the "Get to know us" campaign that took off after Prop 8's defeat. But in a way, it's true. You don't have to tell the world you're gay. Just be honest with those closest to you. You will probably rock their world. But you may find support in the most (un)likely of places.

Oh, good. So we have plans for the weekend, then.

I'm nearing 13 months with a great guy, and I only occasionally want to hit him with a frying pan.

In the year I've known him, Jason has been in constant home remodel mode. Not that I haven't offered to help. Not that he hasn't allowed me to on rare occasion. But it's not just one project...

The guest bathroom--and only working one in the house--has been two colors already, and evidence remains on the ceiling of a third previous attempt with disastrous effects. (Hint for homeowners: Small bathrooms + deep red = BAD IDEA!) His bedroom floor lacks one 6" strip of having finished flooring--IF you don't count the currently concrete walkway into the room. The living room stores mounds of painting supplies. One smaller bedroom stores a shop vac and an air compressor (it's safer to not ask). There are two rooms to which he has refused me entry, upon penalty of death (one is the master bath, locked from the inside!). The two-car garage we see from the curb does not exist; rather, it's his woodshop.

Now I'm not naive on this. My parents had an old farm house, and throughout my childhood and teen years, I have helped with the remodeling, repainting, re-wallpapering, or recarpeting of nearly every room. And yes, it can be a source of tension for couples--but it's also a barrel of laughs, with the right attiude!

While visiting Jason last weekend, I convinced him to take advantage of my being there for an extra day. We could finish the bathroom completely. We just had crown moulding, the tub fixture, a cap over the tiles at the tub, some caulking, and the various ecoutrements of a toilete (towel racks, mirrors, cabinets...). I figured if we worked really hard, we could at least get the more difficult tasks done, and he'd be ready to go get the ecoutrements.

I was wrong.

Four hours we worked on crown moulding. In that time, we nailed up two pieces of eight. Both were wrong. Right length--wrong end cut. He needed a coping saw (the one saw he did not own!). Or some other thing he saw in a wood working magazine (he's really kind of handy--just not great on the follow-through). At the point we were ready to start using the air nailer on one another I decided we should probably go for a walk and get ready for dinner.

He called the other night all excited. "I think I finally got it!" He figured out how to get the moulding to line up properly, and arrange it.

I'm going to see him again tomorrow night for the weekend. We have a date with his bathroom ceiling.

For all you late bloomers out there

In the interest of community, I started a message board for women who have come out later in life. I've run into a number of us in my travels and I decided it was high time those of us who are local had a virtual place to congregate. Hopefully we'll even have an actual place to congregate and talk soon.

And even if you aren't a late bloomer, just struggling with being gay in the Queen City or just looking for some new friends feel free to stop by. The site is QueenCityLesbigaggle.myfreeforum.org.

Her assed

I have a love/hate relationship with MySpace. Sure it’s a good way to keep in touch with friends and there’s all those great quizzes and tests to pass the time. But it’s also very cliquish and has the maturity level of the ninth grade … and there’s all those quizzes and tests that are such time vampires. Ahem.

One of MySpace’s latest tools to keep up with your friends is a little application that compares your Friends List with the Friends List of the people ON your Friends list. Say that three times fast. The application then coughs up people you might know in common that you haven’t already “friended.”

In theory, I’m sure this little app is very useful and sometimes helpful. However, in the incestuous lesbian dating world it can also be painful.

I wandered into the living room yesterday afternoon and the GF was chuckling. “Guess who MySpace thinks I might want to friend?”

Tired from a workout, I shrugged. She gave me a few hints. I was a bit slow on the uptake but then it dawned on me that it was HER.

In our dating lives, we all have that one “special” someone. The person we regret ever having thought was worthy of our time or even just hot. The person you may have had sex with twice, but gave you a lifetime of grief. In other words, HER.

I shook my head. “What picture did she have up?”I asked bemusedly.

The GF chuckled, “Her posterior in a short skirt.”

A number of wry remarks tumbled forth in my brain before I said, “So she’s showing her good side?”