Support from friends

After hearing about Iowa's decision to legalize same-sex marriage just before the weekend, I immediately thought of a friend of mine. She was born and lived in Iowa for a few years, but moved to the Queen City with her parents while she was still quite young.

I've known her about six or seven years at this point, and in that time, I've watched her grow immensely. This straight friend was once one of the most conservative, Jesus-freak Catholics I've ever met. Now, she has become far more socially aware--probably in part to getting a degree in social work. And with that awareness, she's become more frustrated by the world she sees surrounding her, which in turn has led her to take some time away from church.

This is not about church-bashing. As one who grew up Catholic, I have little I can defend at times. I'm as livid as anyone about Benedict XVI's illogical remarks on condom usage and AIDS. It's a regular occurrence for me to be frustrated by the number of indivdiuals and churches who claim to be followers of Jesus--a compassionate and loving, person if one existed!--but deny dignity to anyone who's "different". (Be that difference sexuality, nation of origin, race, or another creed...)

But after Iowa's decision late last week, I decided to call this friend. She was excited to hear from me, and immediately all I could say was, "Well, you have a reason to be proud of your home state now, huh!?" She agreed enthusiastically. Then after a bit of small talk, she said to me that she was glad for the decision, because it was an opportunity for me--for ME--someday to get married.

These are the friends of whom I am most proud. These are individuals who, if not challenged by the idea of knowing someone who was both monogamous and gay, would likely believe that the two were incompatible with one another. These are the friends who probably would vote against anything labeled "same-sex" simply for the terminology, except that they know someone who is directly affected by the decision.

I feel a bit like a part of the "Get to know us" campaign that took off after Prop 8's defeat. But in a way, it's true. You don't have to tell the world you're gay. Just be honest with those closest to you. You will probably rock their world. But you may find support in the most (un)likely of places.