While out with my partner this weekend, we decided to visit one of our favorite restaurants. I'm not going to mention names. I'm simply going to say that it is downtown, that it's somewhat on the pricey side, and that it tends to be good food, regardless.
When we arrived on Saturday night without a reservation, I wasn't surprised that we'd have a wait. That's to be expected. So, we agreed to take a side table at the house bar, and the wait staff would get us when a table was available. At the time, we were told 20 minutes or so.
In walks a gentleman with the most gay-looking eyeglasses I've ever seen. I'm not using "gay" in the sense of "stupid." I mean: GAY, fab-u-lous, snap that "z", and hand me the Louis Vitton.
Just how did these look? Dark black, contemporary front frames, somewhat rectangular in shape. (No major problem--run of the mill "emo" there...) The kicker was the 5/8" thick ear pieces that were glaring white. WHITE. I'm not sure if he picked these out on his own, if his girlfriend picked them out, or if he just thinks he's taking years off his nearing-50 life...it just looked uber-gay.
On the subject of gay glasses, I'm a non-expert. I admit to owning a pair of Buddy Holly-esque glasses, which my boyfriend has pointed out on more than one occasion he loves to see me in. And yes, in 2009, if you wear Buddy Holly style glasses, you probably do look a little bit gay. But when you go all out with the white earpieces on your super-contemporary glasses, it screams "wannabe gay".
It's a lark, if for no other reason than our odd encounter with Mr. Fabulous. First, he looked at my boyfriend and I sitting silently over his gin & tonic and my beer, offering one of those "Really? Two guys together?" looks. (Did I mention HE was wearing the gay glasses?) He glanced at us while he took a call on his cell phone near the restaurant's entrance. (Totally different pet peeve!) Don't worry--the encounter gets SO much better.
The patrons of the restaurant were taking their time Saturday. So much so that the staff provided us with a little specialty appetizer, in gratitude for our patience. We gladly accepted, and shortly after we finished the plate, were taken to our table. Guess who was at the table behind us? (If you have a sense of the ironic twist of God's humor, you probably know the answer here!)
Turns out Mr. Fabulous has a donkey laugh. A very loud donkey laugh. Which he was not afraid to pull out of his arsenal of annoying dinner habits.
Add to that our waiter who I'm pretty sure just arrived in the Queen City from the California beaches. He had the shaggy blond hair, the barely-visible blond goatee, and the put-on "I'm your bro, Bro" attitude. Halfway through dinner, I found myself thinking that if it seemed kind of stereotypical surfer, it probably was part of his personality.
My boyfriend and I also observed a strange fact about eating at nice restaurants lately. People have gone into cafeteria mode. They modify their orders to suit personal tastes, taking this item off the plate but replacing it with this other item. They speak at volumes heard only otherwise used in contacting individuals across a field. They ignore waiters or waitresses, as well as bussers. (Remember when your mom told you that "Thanks" goes a long way?) And then look at other patrons with awe or disgust.
It's here that I mention that at an earlier date, my boyfriend and I went to the same restaurant and watched as, one by one, members of another table took turns looking at the gay boys. To be honest, the faces were priceless, especially when they realized we saw them looking at us. That's the best way to get people embarrased about your sexuality: take note that they notice!
At least the food was good!
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1 comment:
Wow Wildeman. You do encounter the darndest people, don't you? When are we going to get a food review outta you? Hmmm?
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