An Open Letter to GO Magazine

Dykes with forks will be brought to you this week by Disgruntled Foodie. In fact, expect lots from her. She's far meaner than we could EVER be. This week she shares an email she sent to the editors of GO Magazine.

Dear GO Magazine:

Please GO away.

This weekend, I stopped in the Coffee Ethic for coffee and a bagel to kick start my Saturday. I picked up a copy of GO to read while I swilled my caffeine. My intelligence was immediately offended.

From the ridiculous puff piece on dive bars, (and you make it readily apparent you wouldn’t know what an actual dive bar was if it walked up and bit you on your pretentious hind end) to the completely out of date, and somewhat offensive, blurb on the now defunct JR’s bar under the Gay and Lesbian bar section I was appalled.

Just so you know, JR’s closed months ago. The bar is still a gay friendly place, but it’s now under new ownership and is called Trick. It has been since sometime in November. And the catty little comment about it being “the nicest gay bar on Commercial Street” (because I’m guessing it’s the only one) is petty and childish.

But I digress.

What REALLY got me was your “review” of The French Quarter restaurant.

I grew up in a town where food reviewers worked hard to maintain a low profile so that they could go into dining establishments without notice. The idea, you see, is to not only get a sense of the food but also the service. As a food reviewer, the job is to let people know what they can expect when they go spend their hard earned cash on a night out. Another part of the job is to have the cajones to say a place sucks if it’s warranted.

Review, you see, means to critically examine. Your “review” of French Quarter is no better than a third rate recommendation. And I’m certain your experience at the establishment would be far different from mine as the average customer because I’m reasonably certain your profile while visiting was anything but low.

How? Because you dragged Jeff Jenkins with you. Jenkins, in addition to being Mr. Skinny Improv, must have his nose fairly far up the GO Edtior’s posterior given his name and photo are sprinkled liberally throughout the publication. I wonder what kind of discount the two of you got as well?

Regardless, Jenkins was likely recognized and I doubt you were treated the same as Joe or Judy Ordinary Customer.

I also got to wondering if this was just a one off thing. I’m willing to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. Until, that is, I combed through the online GO Eats archive. I found nary a “review” there. I found a few quirky and unreliable “rating systems,” a ridiculous number of articles on hot dogs, a comparison of Ocean Zen and Wal Mart’s sushi offerings, but not a single review.

Clearly, that’s because you don’t know how to write one. You’d be doing your readership a far bigger favor by simply printing the Health Department reports. At least then they’d know where it was SAFE to eat.

Now look, I realize you’ve got bills to pay and that means advertisers to keep happy. I also realize a fair number of your advertisers are restaurants … and Jeff Jenkins. At least, I hope he’s paying you. Otherwise, you’re getting raped on free press for the guy.

If you want to write favorably about local eateries, that’s just groovy, but don’t insult our intelligence by calling them reviews.

Sincerely,

An Insulted Foodie

One point of clarification: I've never eaten at The French Quarter and have no predisposition to how the food or service is at said establishment. My complaint was NOT with the restaurant, rather with the way the restaurant was "reviewed" er, recommended.