Keep your romance out of the commercial pressure cooker

I’m most definitely NOT going out for Valentine’s Day. Look, just a year ago I was still dressing in black and eating Chinese food in protest of the holiday. So consider that your disclaimer for this post.

I find Valentine’s Day, at least the way we’ve come to celebrate it, makes a mockery out of love in because many feel pressured into proving their love to their mate and always falling short of expectations.

How is that romantic?

The folks at Hallmark, the florist and the jewelers got together, through brilliant marketing, and made Valentine’s Day the commercial monster it is. The idea, you see, is to prove your love by spending hundreds if not thousands of bucks on candy, flowers, jewelry and cards.

So, love = money? What?

It’s high time we all stop feeling the pressure to spend tons of money to prove we care.

While I won’t go so far as to criticize those companies for trying to make a buck, that is the American way, I will go far enough to say that spending money in and of itself does not equate love. In fact, there are many ways to show love without spending a dime and often those things are far more priceless than the biggest rock you can purchase.

A backrub, pitching in with the housework, taking your partner to the doctor, listening when he/she has a problem, going for a walk together … all of those things cost no money but show you care. And they’re also things you should be doing on a daily basis, not just this one magical day. Like all living things, love needs nurturing. It needs tending constantly.

While special occasions like Valentine’s Day are a great opportunity to celebrate your love, you shouldn’t feel pressured into spending a crap ton of money. Far too often, I hear tales of paramours going out for an “intimate” dinner on Valentine’s where they had to book months in advance, spend a ridiculous sum of money only to find themselves packed into a corner with goo gobs of other lovers.

Not exactly intimate is it?

Florists have to jack up their prices because of demand, as do jewelry and candy stores. It all quickly devolves into an expensive, high pressure debacle and it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to do it all.

No where is it written that you have to conform to the notion you have to buy a bunch of expensive stuff and an expensive dinner to be a loving partner.

I realize its February, but it won’t be overly cold this weekend. You and your sweetie could go to the zoo or the park. You could go to the movies and have lunch. Lunch places will still be crowded but not nearly as nutty as they will be at night. You could even go bowling. You could even simply just stay home. That can be quite sexy and loving in its own right. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you take time out to do something you both enjoy together.