Why you shouldn't start dating near V day.

After looking at Les Bian's rant-driven post on Valentine's day, I find myself coming to the same conclusion. Please understand as my disclaimer that while Les was dressed in black and chowing on Chinese last year, I was right on the couch with her. Miserable. Kinda pissed, even.

That said...

This is my first Vday with a boyfriend. With a relationship. Ever. And unfortunately, I am SO ready for the day to be over. It probably didn't help that my partner is working this weekend...and I can't enjoy his company. But that's okay...he's been around for nearly a year, anyway.

Valentine's day means little to me. Perhaps that's because my parents, in their infinite wisdom, choose the "most romantic day of the year" to be married. Yeah, you can commence gagging and dry heaves. God knows I have YEARS of experience on that now. To boot, my one and only sibling was born nearly two years to the day after their wedding.

Know how many Valentine's days in my entire life have EVER been remotely about me? If you guess anything above zero, you're overestimating.

To boot, my partner and I are nearly to our one-year anniversary. He became a little nervous about how to navigate Vday this first year. I'm pretty much a romantic at heart--I read entirely too much, and while Hollywood has influenced my view of romance, literature holds the primary responsibility for my misguided understanding of love. The conversation went something like this:

"So, I have part of your Valentine's present ready."

"Ohhhhh-kayyyyyy. Whatja get me?"

"Right. Like I'm just going to tell you. Do I look dumb or something? Don't answer that."

"Well, whatja get me, anyway?"

"I'm not telling you. But it's fitting."

I can sort of tell when panic sets in, despite his protestations; his voice gets tighter. After a rousing 30-second game of "Why won't you tell me?/Why do you need to know?", I ended the conversation with the mother of all responses.

"Are you asking because you want to know, or so you can know what to get me?"

"No. Maybe. Ummm...."

"Uh-huh. I thought so. Sweetie, darling, love of my life, I don't care what you get me." Bold-faced LIE. "I just want to know you put a little thought into it." TRUTH. (The effective way to lie is to follow it up with absolute truth.)

He mumbled something...or grumbled. I can't really tell.

"Okay, point." I let loose on the parent's anniversary/birthday thing. "The truth is I really just want you to acknolwedge I'm important to you and that there's a romantic attachment here. That's it. Other than that, you're not getting a clue from me."

"So this is a test. Great."

"Not a test, no. Kinda. I just am saying that if it seems a bit cliche, you're probably on track."

"Crap."

For the record, he asked the next day where I'd like to sit--hypothetically, of course--if we were to go to the theatre.

But this brought up a conundrum. Why would someone make such a big deal about a holiday like this? Yes, it has religious roots--I was raised Catholic, I know a tad about St. Valentine. But it's totally commercialized, not unlike Christmas, Halloween, and Easter. I'd much rather celebrate our anniversary, anyway. It's more important to me.